Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Fashion Directive: Men's Chapter

I'm sick and tired of seeing everyone wear tshirt and jeans all the time. Whether it be sunny day, to a rainy day, to a cloudy day, IT'S ALWAYS FREAKIN' TSHIRT AND JEANS. Time to add stuff to the wardrobe peeps. Make yourselves stand out. If you still find that tshirt and jeans is your thing, then at least add variety to your wardrobe by occasionally changing it up. The male fashion scene is SOOOOOOO boring. Consistency is the refuge of the unimaginative.



MEN, here are the spring/summer pieces that could add life to your usually BANAL ang MISERLY wardrobe and enhance your entire look and image. Spring/Summer collections jive well with tropical weather. So there's no excuse for not excogitating these...
If one of you, dear male readers, even just one, heeds these suggestions, I will consider it as a personal triumph. CONVERSION!!
Allelujia!! (Angelic chorus starts to sing)

3..


2..


1.. HERE WE GO....


Look: Casual

The quintessential casual look for spring/summer.
The essential thing to have is the cardigan. Use it with slim shorts, kicks sans undershirt.



Look: Military-esque

For those who want to look tougher. Wear a military jacket with slim shorts and kicks. Shirt optional.

CAPS. CAPS. CAPS. as long as they're vintage caps they're ok..


Look: Jogger

I have rarely seen a shirtless jogger in the Philippines, save for 4 people jogging around the UP AcadOval.

Just plain shorts with simple accents plus kicks. Come on!! I double dog dare you.. LOL


Look: "I Don't Fuckin' Care, Get Out of My Case"

See? There's a way to look indifferent without looking like a bum.

Tank top with either olive green, navy blue, or brown slim shorts, and solid white kicks.

EMO-LOOK IS SOOOOOO LAST SEASON.. 'ALL BLACK' IS BANNED!!


Look: Preppy

If you wanna look as if you're better than everyone else, then a light colored long sleeved dress shirt over a plain white undersirt, naval-designed shorts, and white kicks (jacket optional..)


Look: GAY

LOL!! okok.. the yellow jacket will make you look gay. BUT WTF?! go for it! It's a statement! (FUCK ME I'M FAMOUS) LOL.. Without the jacket you'd look like #4..




(I just had to include this.. LOL.. I couldn't resist)

Look: Beachbum/ Man-whore

Either you're doing business or going to the beach, nothing beats the raw and visually stimulating image of a speedo SANS everything else. LOL (flip-flops/shoes optional)


Look: NERDY

This is my look.. Light slacks, white kicks, vest over cotton shirt. NERDY GLASSES. blazer. The blazer's just fo'show.. it's optional. But it really complements the entire look.

MAIN THING: SLIM SHORTS, PLAIN KICKS


Again,just think about it. Don't dismiss it immediately.



P.S. Ladies, your's will follow in a later post. It's quite a long list so I'm kinda condensing it.. :) (I think the gals will be easier to influence than the boys. We'll see.)



**all photos courtesy of men.style.com

Monday, February 26, 2007

Let Them Eat Cake!

"Rumor.. Scandal.. Sex.. Fame.. Revolution"


Can I please ask that this be chiselled on my grave as my epitaph?

I have finally found the person who's worthy enough for me to emulate. Her values and my ambitions seem to mesh SOOOO well. None other than Maria Antonia Josefa Johanna von Habsburg-Lothringen known more popularly as Marie Antoinette.







Ok, let me pre-empt what you're thinking. She's a woman. So? I didn't say I wanted to have a vagina did I? (LOL) I'm perfectly happy with what I have. (LOL LOL!)



Anyway, why Marie Antoinette?



Why not? She's rich, powerful, scandalous, fashion-forward, sexy, promiscuous, artistic, extravagant, rich, adventurous, flirtatious, rich, and ohhh.. did I say rich?



Before you crucify me for such a primadonna post, let me say that that's not the summation of what I admire in her.



She started out kind, charitable, shy, and interested in the peculiarities+trivialities of the Royal Court in Versailles. She was specially loved by the people and she loved them back.(SO ME!! PEOPLE LOVE ME!! hahahahahaha!!) But as time went on, due to the pressures of the court, and her husband's REFUSAL TO ADHERE TO HIS 'MATRIMONIAL DUTIES', she started to fool around lose control of her self. She would, reportedly, sneak out and meet with her lovers in, of all places, the Opera!!



AND, Parisians suspected, and gossiped in a rather graphic way (via pamphlet) that she was having frivolous anal sex with her brother-in-law. And in the vulgar pamphlet known as "Le Godmiché Royal " or "The Royal Dildo", she was drawn fondling herself. FABULOUS!!! hahahahahaha!!



(if there is any married man or a committed man reading this post, do yourself a favor and fill up your wives/ partners. YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T!)



It is said that she would often spread her legs for everyone to see her bijoux.. LOL!!..



So we have a story of nice, innocent, charitable and gentle turned to powerful, extravagant, promiscuous, and bitchy, lost in the decadence of the white wigs and powder.



Again.. ROLE MODEL!!




Plus, her execution (though factually the reasons for which were baseless and exaggerated by the Bourgeoisie) was forever etched as a spectacular death. The same way I want to leave this world, In a BLAZE OF GLORY!!


And because I am so fascinated with her, I decided (long ago, like, 4 months ago) that for my 21st birthday, the attire would be 18th Century French Court. Hahahahahaha!!


Would you like to receive an invitation?.. hahaha..
okok.. you've reached this far so let me say that Marie Antoinette was known and chronicled to be intrepid, loving, and extremely loyal. (again, ROLE MODEL. ü )

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Catharsis. Life's Automatic Immodium

While I'm at a slump here, I've decided to saturate my brain cells with Katharine McPhee's cathartic songs. And by saturate, I mean dance slowly to her hypnotic and sensuous melodies.

I don't wanna say that up to now I'm still a bit bitter about.. well..the people who need to know already know.. coz I'm not.. not anymore.

But there are times when I, somehow in an unexplicable convergence of moon and insanity, crave the drama. So I listen to bitter, angry, or cathartic songs. And then I channel it through my body and I imagine little soldiers of drama marching along my veins.. fighting off the endorphins.. LOL

Then I lipsynch with the singer and try to make an improvised music video with matching emotions asnd that shite.. LOL.. pathetic.. yeah i know.

Afterwards, I need to break free from the drama. So I listen to disco songs ala Donna Summer, the Beegees and Melba Moore. LOL. Again, dancing while lipsynching. But this time, in front of a mirror. I usually do a lot aerobic motions.. LOL. LAME-O!!

Then, I feel so refreshed, like I just came from a relaxing day at the spa.. haha! Why it works for me, I have no clue.

So.. join me.. in the metaphorical orgasm of my cyclical sentimentality.

"Wanting you to be wanting me....you know that ain't no way to be. hurt at first a little bit.. but now I'm so over it..."... (ikot ikot.. giling giling)





If you can't play the AOL media, here's the youtube equivalent..


This song rox my sox!.. Katharine's so glamtastic!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

They're Really Saying I Love You



[insert your name here, if you're my best friend, a close friend, or a friend that might need a digital hug], the two of us need look no more.



we both found what we were looking for.



with a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone. And you my [name] will see, you got a friend in me.



[name], you're always running here and there. you feel you're not wanted anywhere.


If you ever look behind and don't like what you find, there's something you should know... you got a place to go...


I used to say I and Me.. now it's Us.. now its We..



[name], most people would turn you away.


I don't listen to a word they say.



they don't see you as I do.


I wish they would try to.


I'm sure they'd think anew if they had a friend like you..






**A shout out to little Mike for a great piece; back in the day when he wasn't weird. Did a little edit in the last line. but the essence is still there. Aaaww crud. Le nerd is getting all mooooshy and sentimental again.



**i miss my life in the Philippines... and my pseudo-paraplegic state is making my nostalgia worse... I can't wait for winter to finally come to a full halt..








Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Prosthetics Needed Immediately



I chanced upon this video while I was browsing DListed.com, a sort-of Perez Hilton-esque site for celebrity gossip....








**The attempt on my life has left me scarred...and deformed...










HAHAHAHAHAHA.. *tententenenenenten tenenenenten tenenenen......!!*




**I watched this at 12midnight and I was laughing so hard my mom and my dad and my tito woke up and rushed to my room because they all thought something was wrong with me..



Yes.. something is wrong... WITH the world!!..LOL LOL LOL!!!.. WHERE IS THE HUMANITY??!!!

Monday, February 19, 2007

And He Shall Henceforth be Called, COMMENTATOR!

Let me introduce you guys to my new blogging companion. He came all the way from Planet Zebulon...

Ladies and Gentlemen., it is my honor to present to you....



The candidates for Binibining Pilipinas 2007!



Ay mali!..hehehe.. take 2!!

Ladies and Gentlemen., it is my honor to present to you....

The Alien with an afro!




Uhh...Are you channeling "Bring It On" again?



You phony...


Anyway, he will be joining us from time to time. Unfortunately, he can't be with us always as he still has to do his duties to his race, which is to enslave all of humanity. But he promised to stop by once in a while if he's taking a break from pillaging the earth and turning mankind into mindless drones whose only purpose is to serve malevolent extra-terrestrial overlords.

Snaps for the Alien with an Afro!! *snaps snaps!!*


Présentation du Nerd

Let me set the premise for the use of this blog.



In a way, I have grown tired and worn-down by the amount of energy I put out in each and every entry on my previous blog. I felt like I had to really push the envelope, in terms of zeal in all my posts. As the Laws of Physics state: Energy can only be transformed, never destroyed nor created. The process has left me in a quasi-dulled state.


So, I created this new avenue, where I can still promulgate the mechanations of my mind. But this time, in a simpler, yet more opinionated manner.


I did it for myself... but I do hope that you'll still accompany me, dear reader, as I explore the enigma that is ze nerd in me...