The Science of Hair and Hard-ons

Guess who's gonna get free haircuts worth $90!!! hahahahahaha!!

The idiot who didn't get that should be sentenced to eternity cleaning FatBastard's toilet.

Yeah, smart dude! ME!!

I'm now an employee of Bumble&Bumble, the salon I was refering to in my "Price I Gotta Pay" post. And free haircuts and products are just some of the perks. Gawd. That sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gay.

The fundraising thing was not working. My body paid the price for standing outside all day in the moody New York weather.

So I left. Ergo, I am an office-buddy. Fuck. I thought I was an outdoors guy. gggrr. Sad though.. I love helping kids...

So to prepare for my new venture, I went shopping today to be able to comply with the dresscode. ALL BLACK. Yeah yeah. I know. I said people who wear all-black stuff are losers. But before you chastise me for it, let me just say that it is not my choice. It is a required thing.

SUE ME!

I need a credit card.

Let me itemize what I "owe" my rents...

1. Black chino pants(Urban Outfitters)- $48
2. Black military long sleeved-shirt(Urban Outfitters)- $29
3. Black solid polo(American Eagle)- $24.50
4. Black long-sleeved sweater(ExpressMen)- $20
5. Black long-sleeved casual buttoned shirt(H&M)- $20

I am starting to be sick of black. I NEED MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone wanna gimme money? GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!

Oh! and a baby! While I was in the trains a while ago, there was this baby that kept saying "hat..hat..hat..hat..house..house.."

He was sooooooo cute I wanted to eat him.. hihihi..

*End of Verbal Diarrhea*

here's the paperbag that caught my attention. Boy, Abercrombie and American Eagle sure know how to tickle people's fancy. What do you say about this bag, eh? Methinks he's getting, or thinknig of getting a blowjob.

Call Barbara Walters! I Deserve an Interview!

FUCK IT AND FUNDRAISE. Ayluvet!

SEND ME FLOWERS, GIFTS, HUGS AND KISSES BIYATCHES AND FUCKERS!!

I have been hired by one of the world's most innovative fundraising agencies (clearly, with that tagline, it's bound to be nouveau and unconventional!) to scour the streets of manhattan for kind-hearted people(like myself!) who are willing to be sponsors for children suffering privation in different parts of the world!

DialogueDirect's office was so not like what I had expected. I expected it to be sterile, white, and prim. Nuh-uh! It was colorful, teeny, and artsy! I fell in love with the office the moment I saw the photographs of the fundraisers on the wall. I knew that I had to get my photo there. It would be my primary mission!

*pose* *pout* *flash*

and the pay is not that bad! $73/day fixed+merit bonuses on how many sponsors you can sign up that day. You sign up 6 and you get $100 for that day. I NEED TO BE AS ALLURING AS POSSIBLE. lol!!!

Good thing the interview was sooooooo informal and fun. No more of that "towering interviewer who's gonna eat you alive" atmosphere. Claudia, my interviewer, was very accomodating. AND SHE WAS ENGLISH!! I just love the English! They're soooo perky!

Though it was raining today, I was smiling as I walked back towards the World Trade Center, I couldn't help but dance and hop and skip on the streets coz I'm so happy. Earning good money and making a difference. Now that is a job. I was yodelling too. a lot of people were looking at me. I think they thought I was crazy. But hey! This is New York! No one sane is allowed to live here!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH.. and by the way, SPRING HAS SPRUNG!! and because of that, I debuted my spring outfit on the streets of NYC today.

Shall we launch my phoblog?

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1..

Match, oui?

again. FUCK IT AND FUNDRAISE!

The Fashion Directive: Men's Chapter

I'm sick and tired of seeing everyone wear tshirt and jeans all the time. Whether it be sunny day, to a rainy day, to a cloudy day, IT'S ALWAYS FREAKIN' TSHIRT AND JEANS. Time to add stuff to the wardrobe peeps. Make yourselves stand out. If you still find that tshirt and jeans is your thing, then at least add variety to your wardrobe by occasionally changing it up. The male fashion scene is SOOOOOOO boring. Consistency is the refuge of the unimaginative.

MEN, here are the spring/summer pieces that could add life to your usually BANAL ang MISERLY wardrobe and enhance your entire look and image. Spring/Summer collections jive well with tropical weather. So there's no excuse for not excogitating these...

If one of you, dear male readers, even just one, heeds these suggestions, I will consider it as a personal triumph. CONVERSION!!

Allelujia!! (Angelic chorus starts to sing)

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2..

1.. HERE WE GO....

Look: Casual

The quintessential casual look for spring/summer.
The essential thing to have is the cardigan. Use it with slim shorts, kicks sans undershirt.

Look: Military-esque

For those who want to look tougher. Wear a military jacket with slim shorts and kicks. Shirt optional.

CAPS. CAPS. CAPS. as long as they're vintage caps they're ok..

Look: Jogger

I have rarely seen a shirtless jogger in the Philippines, save for 4 people jogging around the UP AcadOval.

Just plain shorts with simple accents plus kicks. Come on!! I double dog dare you.. LOL

Look: "I Don't Fuckin' Care, Get Out of My Case"

See? There's a way to look indifferent without looking like a bum.

Tank top with either olive green, navy blue, or brown slim shorts, and solid white kicks.

EMO-LOOK IS SOOOOOO LAST SEASON.. 'ALL BLACK' IS BANNED!!

Look: Preppy

If you wanna look as if you're better than everyone else, then a light colored long sleeved dress shirt over a plain white undersirt, naval-designed shorts, and white kicks (jacket optional..)

Look: GAY

LOL!! okok.. the yellow jacket will make you look gay. BUT WTF?! go for it! It's a statement! (FUCK ME I'M FAMOUS) LOL.. Without the jacket you'd look like #4..

(I just had to include this.. LOL.. I couldn't resist)

Look: Beachbum/ Man-whore

Either you're doing business or going to the beach, nothing beats the raw and visually stimulating image of a speedo SANS everything else. LOL (flip-flops/shoes optional)

Look: NERDY

This is my look.. Light slacks, white kicks, vest over cotton shirt. NERDY GLASSES. blazer. The blazer's just fo'show.. it's optional. But it really complements the entire look.

MAIN THING: SLIM SHORTS, PLAIN KICKS

Again,just think about it. Don't dismiss it immediately.

P.S. Ladies, your's will follow in a later post. It's quite a long list so I'm kinda condensing it.. :) (I think the gals will be easier to influence than the boys. We'll see.)

**all photos courtesy of men.style.com